here we go now

okay since you updated i might as well update also.. its a boring week so far.. very boring. this is my mothers first week without treatments.. and she's doing amazing i knew she would she's a strong woman... she's been living with granny for the whole week so its me and zach pretty much on our own.. but i guess i've felt like its been just the 2 of us ever since this all started.. since her stays in the hospital it feels like we've grown apart since kirk was with her the whole time and i barely talked to her and only saw her twice they have a better relationship than me and her and that hurts.. but anyways she hasn't lost her hair yet.. and quite honestly i gave her a noogie the other day and nothing happened but it got me thinking.. one day i'm going to give her a noogie and some hair is going to fall out.. then i'll feel horrible.. so i'm not going to touch her head anymore.. the first night i went to see her at the hospital i broke down in tears as we were leaving and had to run back into the room to give her a hug.. by then we knew she'd have to go threw chemo so i just held her close and played with her hair.. which sounds totally weird..but .. it still makes me really sad.. hmm.. oh i guess grandma got fitted for her hearing aids thank the lord.. i'm tired of people talking about her while they sit right next to her.. its like just have the decensey to talk about her out of the room or not talk about her at all.. she came over wednesday to have supper at our house and uncle terry was here.. i don't think she ever stopped crying that poor guy every time he talks to her she thinks he's yelling at her.. but since its 11:05 i figure i should go to bed..